When I was a little girl I never dreamed of my pure white wedding or my handsome husband but I did dream about being a mom and owning a car dealership or being an actress named Victoria or Taylor. And I was completely clear if I did end up in a relationship, that the person I would be with, would above all else, want to be an active parent.
At least two of these dreams came true…so far…who knows I could still become a famous car dealing actress named Victoria.
But even a couple years before I met my partner, I was in my late 20’s and was attempting to make sense of my future, inspired by my travels and bohemian lifestyle, I decided I would pick a place to travel to and get knocked up.
I thought when I was ready I would meditate and then ask where I was to meet my sperm daddy and open up the map and point. This seemed to me like the most divine plan. I’d time my cycles and just take a chance. It was the ultimate choose your own adventure! Who knew who I would meet and how I would lure that man. I wasn’t too concerned in my fantasy world with the karmic implications of using some dude, any dude, for my own dream fulfillment and walking away without letting him know my plan or getting a medical profile or history, now that is REAL TRUST I thought!
And when I casually mentioned this plan to my mom one day, always supportive, and always ready to hop a plane, she said “We’ll that’s one way to do it. I’ll come with you and help pick the right guy!” So it was settled my conception plan in place. (Wipe sweat off brow and sigh with relief!)
When I met my partner at 29, Cheryl Loversauce (25), she was adamantly opposed to my traveling around the world and getting knocked up plan, even if she was able to help me scope out our potential SD (sperm donor). So that plan crumbled to the wayside. We both wanted to create a family together so we had to find another plan.
At least for us it was not a difficult decision of who was going to provide the womb. I know this can be a complex decision making process for other two womb families but Cheryl was really clear she wanted to be a parent first and foremost and I had the baby making ache for as long as I can recall so that part, thankfully, was easy… this round.
We checked out the ONLY SPERM BANK IN ALL OF CANADA! With apparently only 35 donors (http://www.thegridto.com/city/local-news/down-for-the-count/)
Repromed: The Toronto Institute for Reproductive Medicine- www.repromed.ca
And looked at some profiles, pictures from newborn to 30’s, dating type profiles and voice samples. I wanted a finger print analysis and hand writing sample but that wasn’t included sadly! The whole thing was not exactly how we wanted it to go down but what’s a lesbian couple to do!
Then one day I was at a yoga class lying Savasna and it hit me like a ton of bricks….I DON’T want to PAY for sperm! WTF!
And Cheryl and I had shared the feeling that we would like to have our child know where they came from biologically, touch the skin of the other part of their DNA. We didn’t need another parent but there was something to the child being able to create a relationship if they wanted to, and knowing where they came from.
So after some discussion it was settled. We wanted a REAL MAN! A real live person with swimming swimmers that didn’t have to be thawed alive again and a laugh we could hear and skin we could touch and the freedom to inseminate in our own home, on our own terms.
We were truly blessed indeed. We had a couple potential males that could be candidates but in the end it came down to one. One “real man”, sperm donor, or as I will call him, Skippy Swimmerton. Skippy was handsome. (Not that it is all about looks here!) He shared our values, was kind, smart, thoughtful and creative and in our lives already.
All we had to do was ask!
Toronto Fertility Clinic Information:
- Dr. Anthony Auyeung– Private Fertility Clinic- 416-260-2004- Smaller clinic in a old home in the Annex. More intimate and comfortable then the “clinical” feeling of the “take a number” below mentioned clinics.
- Create: www.creativf.com– Has an easy to comprehend Guidebook for LGBTQ people on website.
- Hannam Fertility Clinic: www.hannamfertility.com
- Lifequest: www.lifequestivf.com
- Site where you can read up on Doctors ratings: www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings/50336/Dr-Anthony-Auyeung-Toronto-ON.html
**SIDE NOTE: You can order sperm through the States that has a much bigger selection…links to follow**
- Fertile Ground- Part 2: Manifest Destiny! (withwombtogrow.com)