Cosmic Conception- “I think Skippy had too many onions today!”

It was go time. June 10, 2013.  After charting my ovulation cycle for about 6 months I was pretty much down to a science, ovulating on day 25 or 26.  (Charting your ovulation cycle.)

menstrual cycle

menstrual cycle

Through meditation, research and conversations with other couples we decided to inseminate 4 days in a row. We determined our inseminations dates to be 1 and 2 days before ovulation, day of ovulation and the day after ovulation.  Healthy sperm that has travelled past the cervix can live on average 3-4 days. SO our cycle like it gave us some chances but wasn’t too demanding on our donor! Cheryl and I were both in school at night on two of the days but we decided to be really casual about the whole affair, we were in it for the long haul.

At 9:35 when we were leaving class we texted Skippy to let him know we would be there in 15 minutes. No pressure we would just sit outside his building and wait until he was finished. It was like a late night drug deal. We parked outside in our dark car. He came round, looked over his shoulder and handed us a brown paper bag.

“You got the stuff?” We joked. “ I hope it’s the good shit.” We exchanged a couple giggles and hugs…ok maybe that doesn’t happen with every drug deal .

Cheryl held the little jar between her breasts the whole way home to keep it warm and to blend it’s energy with her energy as well. We arrived home and I set up some pillows and a towel to catch and stray junk…excuse me, sacred spunk, and Cheryl went to sterilize our small syringe.  (Let’s be clear here, for those of you who may have never dealt with sperm and are doing a home insemination, there will be run off. If not right away when your legs come down and your walking away have a towel handy incase!) We looked that our sacred juice examined consistency, colour and smell and were both intrigued and a bit disgusted. It had been a while since either of us had been around sperm. But we treated it with reverence and spoke to it kindly, our baby could be in there after all!

She loaded up and I lay down with my butt elevated. We connected together with the sperm, lit a candle and kissed it wasn’t a huge ceremonial process nor was it all sexy times like in If These Walls Could Talk 2. Who knew how many times we would have to do this we didn’t want all the crazy pressure.

She filled me up and I breathed and visualized. It was more meditative process the first time. We played a song called Claire de Lune by Debussy and lay together breathing and visualizing.



Now this is the unexpected part. I was totally not prepared for what followed. As soon as that sperm came into my body I felt completely different. Almost like I had smoked a joint and was feeling the altering affects almost immediately. It was pure alchemy. My body was shifting to receive Skippy’s seed. I felt a strong energy run up my feet and legs and my body warmed. I felt very surrealy connected to him, I could even taste something different in my mouth, my body felt heavier. I said to Cheryl, “Wow I think Skippy had onions today, I can taste it in my breath! This is crazy!”  “I’m even seeing out of my eyeballs differently. Does that make sense? How can I see out of my eyeballs differently? I don;t know but that is what it feels like. Like I’m seeing with Skippy’s eyes!” Cheryl was sweet and just rubbed my belly and looked at me all tender like I was on some acid trip and she was there to keep me from freaking out. My body went on to receive surges and strange impressions for about 20 minutes and then it slowed down and stopped. I was getting hungry so we concluded insemination one and went to get a snack.

The two other times we experimented with coming after insemination, as we had heard that helps to suck the sperm up the cervix. We also watched a conception clip on youtube with a sperm traveling towards an egg in hyper colours as we listened to Debussy. Each time I felt the surges and alchemy. And after 4 days we were done until the next round.

It was hard not to consider the unlikelyhood of getting pregnant and then also the feeling “of course this will work!” Lets get technical, a man wacks off into a jar, jar of sperm gets transferred to another location, sperm gets sucked up into a syringe and then gets injected into female. The whole process took around 40 minutes and the sperm was exposed to a variety of different containers and temperatures. It seems pretty crazy that it could work.

But I guess Skippy’s spunk is pretty potent. That mixed with a fertility goddess’s ripe womb and months of intention and love surrounding the whole process and you’ve got a blessed recipe for baby making!

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Fertile Ground- Setting the Foundation for Conception- Part 1

black swallowtail caterpillar- "big joe"

big joe- a black swallowtail caterpillar

It was April 2012 when our friends Blade and Reznor came into town one weekend tracking their ovulation cycle and their sperm donor to Toronto. It was actually their first insemination and we were hosting!

It couldn’t have been more perfect timing the fecundity in our house was bomping. We were hatching three species of butterflies and had just found out our male snake was actually a female when she popped out 23 (unfertilized) eggs!

The room in our basement that I use for  meditation and yoga became the womb chamber. I set out to print fertility goddess images and ripe pregnant bellies, quotes on motherhood and golden sperm to set the tone.

The rendez-vous was to happen in the early morning before their donor, Ebert, had to get to some meetings. We all ate breakfast and giggled as we picked out some internet porn we thought might assist Ebert with his “task at hand”- you know, just to make him more comfortable to walk into a house with four lesbians eager for him to do his business and help make a baby already!

It was a pretty surreal and comical experience to be an observer for and also we felt so blessed that we could be a part of it. Wait, let me clarify we didn’t “observe” all the processes  involved but there was ample discussion about textures and volumes and angles of syringes and B12 supplements. So I felt like I was right in there, taking notes.

And not that day, but Blade, Reznor and Ebert did create a beautiful baby boy who was born in August 2013.

So we decided after that to set our  foray into familydom for the following April, 2013.

And now to prepare….

first flight! red admiral on clematis

first flight! red admiral on clematis